What Did Gimli Say?
by deke-core
Summary: Frodo tries to figure out what Gimli said to Haldir during FOTR - the extended version.


What Did Gimli Say?  
  
*******  
  
Okay, this is just a short, one-time humor fic about what Gimli said to Haldir in Lorien during " Fellowship of the Ring" the extended version. I don't have the extended version of the movie with me - so I'm writing some of the preliminary dialogue off the top of my head. Sorry for mistakes! Don't forget to review when you are done.  
  
*********  
  
Aragorn was busy trying to convince the elves of Lorien (most especially Haldir, since he was the one who Aragorn was talking to) that they should be allowed to travel to the city of Galadhras. Even Legolas enters the debate - but everyone is speaking in elvish, so none of the non-elvish-speaking members of the Fellowship understand what the hell is going on.  
  
" Why don't you speak words we can all understand," Gimli suggests in a not-very-polite tone, voicing the opinions of the portion of the Fellowship that filed as non-elvish-speaking-persons.  
  
" Oh, shut up, you thoughtless dwarf," Haldir says, the author having forgotten what was really said.  
  
" And do you know what this dwarf says to that?," Gimli starts, and then finishes with (what is assumed to be) a sentence of insulting elvish. There is a silence. Haldir does not look happy.  
  
" That was uncalled for," Aragorn says, whacking Gimli for being so stupid.  
  
But regardless, the Fellowship are lead to see Celeborn and Galadriel.  
  
On the way, the overly curious hobbits convince Frodo to ask Gimli what he had said. Frodo, who had been caught at the bad end of a string of "I dare you" " I double dare you"s is forced to walk up to Gimli.  
  
" Hey, what was it that you said to Haldir back there?," Frodo asks, taking a brief moment to shoot a look of resentment at the other hobbits.  
  
" I said -," and Gimli attempts to translate, but Aragorn descends upon them quickly.  
  
" No! Don't say it!," Aragorn hushes, " It was bad enough that you said it once!"  
  
" But I want to know," Frodo protested, and resorted to the tried-and-true excuse, " besides, I'm Ring bearer!"  
  
" Ring bearer or no," Aragorn finished, " If you wanted to know what was being said, you should have learned elvish while we were staying in Rivendell."  
  
" But I had been stabbed!," Frodo protested again.  
  
" All the worse luck for you," Aragorn said, and left the hobbit to join Haldir, the-other-knower-of-what-had-been-said at the front of the group.  
  
" Well, I tried," Frodo explained to the other hobbits as he rejoined them.  
  
" You don't get off the hook that easily," a now-just-as-curious Boromir punished.  
  
Frodo kept walking, and noticed that Gimli was slowly slowing down - Frodo slackened his pace to rejoin the dwarf.  
  
" So, can you tell me now?," Frodo asked.  
  
" Well, of course, I said -," Gimli started, but was cut off as the rest of the impatient Fellowship hurried towards the pair to hear that curiously untranslated insult to the elves.  
  
" He's going to tell," Pippin started.  
  
" He's going to tell," Merry added.  
  
" He's going to tell," Sam sang.  
  
" He's going to tell," Boromir ended.  
  
" He's not going to be telling anyone," Aragorn said as he burst his way into the group, " Now honestly, do you want to get us all killed? The elves are being hospitable enough to take us into their city! Now, come on....," Aragorn waited for a sense of excitement to grow in the Fellowship, and then added once more for good measure, " the city!"  
  
" But I REALLY want to know what he said!," Frodo protested even more, " How foolish would I look if it became a topic that came up over dinner or something, and here I am - Whoosh!" He made a motion of his hand flying over his head, " There it goes!"   
  
" Whoosh or no whoosh, you'll just have to forget about it," Aragorn said.  
  
" Oooohhh," the Fellowship was all disappointed.  
  
Frodo kept his eyes open for another opportunity to ask Gimli, but he didn't find the chance until after they had been brought before Galadriel.  
  
" Hey Gimli, what's up?," his attempt at being casual, "What was it that you said to Haldir the other night?," Frodo asked.  
  
" Oh! Curse my tongue for ever doubting the majesty of the elves!," Gimli praised, thoughts of Galadriel dancing in his head.  
  
" Huh?!," Frodo asked, bewildered.  
  
" I have been so blinded before now!," Gimli exclaimed.  
  
" Well...," Frodo trailed off, " You can't tell me?"  
  
" I will never speak another word against the elves as long as I live!," Gimli said.  
  
" Not even if you went back in time?," Frodo ventured.  
  
" No," Gimli said and went to sleep.  
  
Frodo looked over the sleeping body of the dwarf.  
  
" You aren't really asleep, are you?," Frodo asked.  
  
" No," Gimli snorted.  
  
" Then what's the use of pretending?," Frodo yelled.  
  
" I want you to stop bothering me!," Gimli said and once again fell 'asleep.'  
  
" You can't pretend to go to sleep again!," Frodo said, " You tried it once and it failed!"  
  
" Then leave me alone! I'm not going to tell you!," Gimli said. Frodo sighed. No one in the non-elvish-speaking Fellowship was ever going to know what was said. Unless....  
  
Just before the Fellowship left Lorien, Frodo walked up to Haldir.  
  
" Uh, hi," Frodo started, " Uh... I'm Frodo, Ring bearer," he was a little nervous, " Uh, you wouldn't mind if you told me what Gimli said to you the other day, would you?"  
  
" Not a problem," Haldir said, eager to convince Frodo that dwarves said stupid things, " He said - "  
  
" No!," Aragorn ran into the conversation, " No one is going to repeat what was said! It was a terrible thing to say."  
  
" But -," Frodo started.  
  
" Am I going to have to put you in time out?," Aragorn asked.  
  
" I really think I deserve to know what they said!," Frodo protested.  
  
" Okay, fine, that's it," Aragorn was laying down the law, " Sit over there for twenty minutes and don't talk to anyone."  
  
Frodo stormed off into the woods and sat down behind a tree.  
  
" No," Aragorn called after him, " Turn around."  
  
Frodo sat so that his back was to the Fellowship.  
  
" You guys are weird," Haldir said, shaking his head and returning to Lorien.  
  
*******  
  
That's it! So go review already! 


End file.
